where can i illegally download a nice body
claydols: damn you must be itunes because you are always not responding
mycroft-queenofcake: iamjayse: thenerdfighterkid: slydig: tsarbucks: slydig: dont be mean be median or mode damn math fandom bloggers shut up we have a good range of jokes this is our domain guys we’re forgetting the point of this post and going off on a tangent
cowboybeboop: viste: cowboybeboop: reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan
dankickedphilsstickz: We know you bought Tumblr, we know there is nothing we can do about it now, but we only request one thing. Please, PLEASE do NOT ALLOW FUCKING CHILDREN ON THIS WEBSITE DO NOT MAKE IT FAMILY FRIENDLY, OKAY? THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE WE CAN SHIP AND READ ALL THE GAY SMUT WITHOUT FEELING BAD OR GUILTY AND NOT TO MENTION, THE ONLY PLACE WE DO NOT GET JUDGED BY IT. PLEASE DON’T...
creeeee: imawanchor: remember when the first time the audience saw bella swan she was just randomly clutching a cactus remember vampires suck?
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
shadowrawrs: strawberrydaydreams: do you ever hate someone so much but you don’t even have a valid reason you’re just like no And then they give you a reason and its like
undesired-pageblood: emotionalfossil: bubonickitten: 0ptimuspenguin: ambieheartsturtlep0rn: capitolresident: Let’s play a game called ‘Stay up late and hate myself in the morning’ ‘on a school night’ edition with unlockable bonus round ‘finals week’ expansion pack: ‘don’t do anything productive’ DLC: ‘Client Projects Edt’ Survival Mode: Parents ON
smilingemoticon: blackromney: full movies on youtube “Click The Link In The Description To Watch This Movie For Free!!”
magnezone: draw things on my back with your finger so i can fall asleep/ in love with you
wingsunfurled: sexualbread: *smells u deeply* u smell like my next friend
once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
brandisbigbootybitches: im gonna make a movie that’s titled “WILL SOMETHING SCARY HAPPEN?” and it will feature an hour and a half of someone walking around their house in the dark doing various things that COULD be the prelude to something scary but nothing actually scary will happen until after the credits when spooky scary skeletons will play
theneverendingdrums: wimpala: theneverendingdrums: theneverendingdrums: theneverendingdrums: i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it update: i got away with it omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got...
princelypaws: *busts through the wall* i heard someone talking shit about cartoons
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
69shadesofdan: 69shadesofdan: ugh i just spilled tea all over my table and instead of cleaning it i made a text post first well done me
henryandhisbrain: Dear Yahoo, If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages. If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk. Regards Tumblr Users
kinkjolras: “les superwholockavengerstuck’